Category Archives: General Fodder

Absence makes the heart grow…annoyed?

To my 12 readers that are now likely 3 – thank you for coming back in for a quick peek despite my inability to post anything since “The Decision” which I believe was more than two months ago.

I’ve been in the process of starting my own business,which obviously takes up a lot of time, and have spent the very few free hours I have as far from a computer as possible.

So, in an effort to prove that despite being absent for months my sports and pop culture knowledge is up to par, I give you my “6 things that happened since that glorious one hour piece of television featuring Lebron James, Jim Gray and many traumatized children.”

1. Red Sox Injuries

Honestly it has been one of those seasons where the injuries pile up at such a ridiculous rate it becomes almost comical. Broken ribs, feet and a thumb. Strained backs, forearms and abdominal muscles. WTF? 

Now despite what Theo Epstein and the Sox brass may have attempted to have you believe – this was a bridge year just like 2006. The injuries just made it easier to compensate for losing. While D-Mac and Bill Hall have played admirably, you just simply can’t win a pennant race in the AL East if those guys are on your roster. Meh.

2. The Other Guys

I’m not going to lie – the thought of Will Ferrell movies make me pee a little. I think he is the funniest man in the world, hands down. I have probably seen Anchorman, Step Brothers and Talladega Nights combined more than the sum of all other comedies I have ever watched. I laugh at the same jokes hysterically and quote them via text weekly. Needless to say I was more than ready for this movie. Unfortunately I left kind of disappointed – building a movie up like that tends to always lead to a letdown. There were some hilarious moments and I’ll obviously see it again to catch some things I may have missed the first time around but it simply boiled down to too much Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch. Mark – I love you but you crushed this movie.  Was John C. Reilly unavailable?

3. Virginia Tech Football

I’m a die-hard Hokies fan and have been since childhood thanks to my dad. The fandom then took on another level when I visited Lane Stadium for the first time in 1995 and we started going to 1 or 2 games annually. Then my parents picked up season tickets before the 1998 season and it was on – we were making the 3 1/2 hour trip to Blacksburg for every home game. I literally used to watch the 2000 National Championship game over and over on VHS and turn it off after the 4th quarter with the Hokies leading 29-28 (that wasn’t the final score).

With all the preseason polls coming out and Virginia Tech picked by most to finish anywhere from 6th to 13th I’m giddy like a kid again. I’ll be on my way up to FedEx Field for the first game against the season against preseason Top 5 (in ALL polls) Boise State in less than three weeks – see you there.

4. DirecTV

Recently we switched from Time Warner Cable (i.e. The Evil Empire) to DirecTV. Simply put it was the greatest decision in the history of decisions made on the earth.  More channels, more HD, lower cost, exclusive programming and phenomenal customer service. It even gave me the ability to get the wife into The Wire which I’ve been trying to do for years. All thanks to The 101. I love you DirecTV. I love you.

6. LOST: The Complete Collection

I’ve already committed at least 7,000 minutes to the series and can’t wait to spend another 5,704 watching the series again.  That plus the fact that the set has 30 Hours of new features and a 12 minute epilogue show makes itttt touughhh to typpe. I already have mine preordered so it gets shipped the day before it comes out (8.24.10).  You may not see me for a while…

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Filed under Food, General Fodder, Movies, Sports, TV, Virginia Tech

I Hate You, ESPN

I love sports. I completely understand the need for a 24/7 sports news network.

I hate ESPN. I simply cannot understand the need for a 24/7 hype machine with more “faux” news than actual news.

Unfortunatley for me – if I want sports information to project from my television – ESPN is it. There is a recurring theme in my household that follows this pattern daily:

1. Get home from work

2. Retreive multiple remotes from some hidden drawer where they have been banished by the wife for reasons of “ugliness.”

3. Sit on sofa whilst turing on multiple electonic devices.

4. Flip through 50+ channels dedicated to sports programming saying over and over in my head “please let there be something on other than SportsCenter.”

5. Dissapointedly realize there is no alternative and turn to ESPN.

6. Yell in disgust at one or more of the following anchors/analysts/so-called experts for saying something that either

     – Has 0-8% of factual truth to it — offenders include (but are not limited to): Doug Gottlieb, Chris Mortenson,  Chris Broussard, J.A. Adande, et al.

     -Has been repeated ad naseum for 3-10 years — offenders include (but are not limited to): Stuart Scott, Chris Berman, John Buccigross, Scott Van Pelt, et al.

     -Is only said by an idiot — offenders include (but are not limited to): Jay Bilas, Mark May, Skip Bayless, Mark Schlereth, Jay Mariotti, Eric Wynalda, et al.

This disgust has grown over the last 5+ years as ESPN has become so gigantic that they are literally everywhere. I can’t even hide by turning to ABC anymore now that ESPN handles all programming of sports on Disney owned properties. Other stations can’t compete because the self proclaimed “Worldwide Leader” outbids them for anything from bowling and women’s billiards to the NBA and World Cup.

This disgust hit an all time high over the last few weeks as the ESPN teamed up with Lebron James to create the biggest clusterf#*k of all time.  We literally just spent an entire month where AT LEAST half of every ESPN show was about Lebron James and what he “might” do.

What he MIGHT do.

It all came to a head with last night’s absurd abomination of a show that ESPN and the self proclaimed “King” named “The Decision.”  Literally an entire hour dedicated to one NBA player choosing a team in Free Agency. I can just see Michael, Magic and Larry sitting in their living rooms shaking their heads in shame/disgust.

Is it really too much to ask for a sports news network that just gives us the news? Is this unreasonable? Am I a bad person because I don’t want Jay Bilas to tell me someone is great because of their “length” or “wingspan” even though they’ve never done anything in college? Is it strange I would rather hear the opinion and real news from someone who has some intelligence and insider information like Buster Olney, Michael Smith or Micheal Wilbon instead of someone spraying vomit nonsense like Skip Bayless or Mark May?

I hate you, ESPN.

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Filed under General Fodder, Sports

USA Vuvuzela Fever

It’s overcome us since the goal heard round the US and A yesterday.

I personally have had it ever since the release of 2002 Fifa World Cup for Playstation 2 where I scored over 163 goals with Landon Donovan through 5 years of college. Then in 2006 I had my first HD TV and almost vomited in excitement as though I was on the pitch during each match.

The fever has spread so quickly that I’d venture to guess thousands of people took off work yesterday to watch the game.  I know a few myself that not only were able to see it but were photographed by the second largest paper in North Carolina (in terms of circulation).  The potential results of such a situation were well chronicled in the Seinfeld episode “The Letter.”

In 1992 the internet was not such a big part of our lives – now it is. Skip work, get photographed, get got. Kudos to each individual in these photos for not only skipping work but for going through the entire gamete of emotions displayed without having a brain aneurysm.

Next up: Ghana – Saturday, June 26 2:30 PM*

*No need to be concerned about photographic or video evidence due to the match falling on a weekend.  Just watch, scream and bring a Vuvuzela or at least the Vuvuzela iPhone App.

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Filed under General Fodder, Sports

Vacation Fail Blog

In all my wisdom, I decided to start a blog right before vacation to lose any traction I may potentially be gaining. Another reason why my mother will surely be my #1 fan no matter what blather I post to the Net.

So, in a lame effort to put SOMETHING up as I stew over my LOST series recap blog, I have decided to post a few of my favorite things over the course of the last month. Enjoy?*

*question mark completely intentional

The National: High Violet

When i first heard The National’s album Boxer in ’07 I wasn’t sure what to make of them. A guy the mumbles with a deep voice over a mish mash of instruments was actually my first thought. But for whatever reason I continued playing the record from beginning to end because something about it was haunting to me.

Fast Forward three years and I am one of their biggest fans. I saw them perform at the Lincoln Theatre in Raleigh from the upstairs balcony and it was one of the most memorable experiences of my concert going life.

High Violet is a step towards the mainstream for the band (if there is such a thing for these guys from Ohio) and they have a range of sound on this album.  Just like the previous albums they focus mainly on the American way of life – particularly in the Midwest and Matt Berninger talk/sings.  I’ll let you get a real critics take here  in Nicholas Dawidoff’s fascinating profile from the NY Times.

Big Papi/Little Papi

For those of you who doubted the big slugger – and quite possibly my favorite Red Sox player ever alongside Mo Vaughn, Manny Ramirez and The Teammates – shame on you.

This May David Ortiz is batting .361 with 9 Home Runs and 23 RBI’s and he has 2 more games to add to those totals.  Take away his horrendous April this year and this first two months of last season and Americo is hitting .280 with 36 bombs and 104 RBI.

Now I don’t feel as bad about naming my dog Lil Papi (and cursing Big Papi forever) prior to the 2009 season – especially if we can make a playoff run.

Vince Carter hits full court shot sitting down

I think VC knew this was a must in preparation for his playoff choke against the Celtics.  (Side note – I can’t say I ever thoughts Vince Carter would make it onto a blog created by me once, let alone twice in a month but hey, what can ya do.)

Random Favorites

Gordon’s BBQ in Apex, NC. – Looks like a dump, acts like a dump, tastes like something fierce. $4.99 platter on Tuesday’s.

Over The Limit on truTV – Drunk college kids and idiots trying to drive and/or walk get pulled over by cops and made fun of as the slur their speech and say things Mom is surely to be proud of.

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Filed under Food, General Fodder, Red Sox, TV

That Cat can Shred

I attempted to teach my dog how to play the keyboard but he ended up licking his privates.

Of the 7+ million views – 133,219 are me and my dog.

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Filed under General Fodder

Humans, Animals Unite and Dance

I work in PR.

I have been involved in good pitches, bad pitches, spreading “real” news and brainstorming and writing news that really should be talked about but isn’t.

This is one of those items.

Please, I beg you, throw your Rollie’s in the sky this Friday and dance. If not for me – do it for the chicken.

*Disclosure – Queensboro is a client

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Filed under General Fodder, PR

Heyyooo!

Strange name for a blog?  Well for starters I am not drunk and if I was eating chicken (I’m not) I would certainly be able to taste each succulent bite.

The name comes from a quote from the very quotable Will Ferrell. Or as I like to call him – the funniest man in the history of our world of humans.

As with most of the blogs available for you to read at every end of the earth featuring topics on every walk of life – this blog may or may not be your cup of tea.

I just felt it was finally time to get some of the random thoughts I have written down, where anyone can access them, so in a few years my 7 followers (Hi Mom!) can see that I was A) Wrong 90% of the time B)An idiot.

I like a lot of random things and will surely cover them all here.  Hopefully I get a chance to chat with you so we can talk about why I am wrong and you are right.

There’s not much to look at now – but come back soon and feel free to look around.  I promise, at the very least, this blog can be an outlet for you to go to work and say, “Have you visited www.toodrunktotastethischicken.com yet.  Wait, of course you haven’t.  Anyways – that guy is an idiot.”

Thanks for coming. See ya’ll soon.

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Filed under General Fodder